24 October 2022
Well, the new computer has been up and running for a couple of weeks now, and I am used to all its foibles. My two newest projects are ready to be worked on and I feel OK about that. All the other things that I lost will take many months to sort out, and some things will remain unrecoverable. Now that I am over the shock, I feel OK. strangely it feels as though I am starting again; the rubbish went along with the good things, and I have a clean sheet to work with.
The deadlines I set myself are now clearly unachievable and there is a freedom which goes along with that. I work with deadlines because of my tendency to procrastinate, but obviously lately I had become hung up on them because the sense of freedom that I now have is huge. We will have to see how long that lasts before I set new deadlines to ensure that I finish things.
This fresh start has corresponded with the late season change here and I am writing this with the fire lit and sound of intermittent rain on the skylight. It’s the temptation to collect chestnuts or look for mushrooms that will interfere with my writing time. The last of the veg from the garden is waiting to be processed for the winter, and the smell of autumn in the air is enticing.
The last few weeks I have faced the question that many writers face: what I do next, how I cope with this problem. Writers mostly work alone, and they create intensely personal work like any creative. So, what do you do when something goes wrong, when you face criticism, be it well-meaning or malicious? When you come upon a problem as I just have or when you feel as though you have failed.
I know that in the past I have given up too easily, taken on board far too much of the negative comments that I have received and given up whatever I was doing too soon.
This time, I made myself a promise. I said that I would not give up until I had written a million words for publication. (You can read more about that here.) That has made the first stark choice easy. I will carry on because I have not reached my million words, no soul searching required.
The next question is more complex, of course, and involves discovering what you can learn from the experience and what you will change as you move forward. Part of that was easy. I have taken the time to learn how Cloud backup systems work. Most people already know this. I didn’t need to know before I became a writer, and I didn’t think I needed to know even then. Faced with all the other things, I had to learn it was, I thought, unimportant and one or two terrible experiences put me off altogether.
This time, I spent a week working out what the best backup system for me was going to be, before I wrote a single new word. The other significant thing that has come with having a fresh start is knowing how far I have come since I started. I know what systems work for me, what information I need to have on hand. I littered my last computer with apps and worksheets that had worked for other people, but which didn’t work for me. They have gone so now, the things I have are the things I need. Now I am not so naïve as to believe that I have it sorted after all there is so much more to learn, but this time I know I can make it to base camp.
I know that to write; I need little more than my beloved Scrivener. I lost all my settings, of course, but I know how to fix that. And in time I can set that up it to deal with everything. No need to look for a quick fix. It will be at least six months before I can say that I have made up the lost ground, but I am no longer kicking myself for being so stupid, because there will be new opportunities to look forward to.
I now have a work plan for the next few months and have already set to work on my newest projects. That means in between writing I can enjoy the things the season offers.
I hope to share some recipes for chestnuts, chillies and other autumn produce and some scenes from the glorious Galician countryside, depending on how much it rains. (I am emotionally torn here as we desperately need the water) Walking is slow and painful for me now because of a back problem and while in the past I would not have let the weather stop me, now I must be more conscious of the conditions and stick to clear weather days for being active.
Next time I should have some actual progress to report, as well as some information about the books I hope to publish next year.
Abigail Thorne 